Pros/Cons

Do you ever make pro/con lists? 

I am a list maker, but usually my lists are "To-Do" lists.  I love the feeling of crossing things off, and I love to see a page that has almost everything crossed off.  I think I even still have a few lists from years ago that are all completed, but I like to look at it and see how much I accomplished in whatever amount of time.

This past week, I have had many situations where I need to make a big decision.  Both choices in the situations are good.  Both outcomes would be fine.  I have had to weigh my options, and make pro/con lists.  One of the lists has come to a stand-still, though....neither side winning, and it has been no help in making a final decision. 

What holds you back from making difficult decisions?
What helps you to make a tough choice?

As most of you know, from previous posts and personal interactions, I have a dream to publish a book (or many).  I have never had anything published before, and I am completely new to the whole process.  Here we are in 2019 with so many options available, and I can't figure out what to do.

Traditional Publishing would be amazing.  A company would find merit in my work, pay me for my manuscript, format and publish my book, and get it into bookstores/online platforms around the country and world.  I would receive some money up front, and (pretty small) royalties off of the sales.  I would have an 'in' for publishing more books.  And I could turn writing into more than a hobby, and possibly go to book signings and releases of new books all over the country. 
Traditional publishing typically requires you to find an agent that wants to represent your ideas, and you work with them to finalize the book and find a publisher.  There would probably be a lot of rejection, and take a lot of time to see if something would come of it.  Also, they typically purchase your rights to the book, and they have say on illustrations and final 'look' of the book. 
Oh, and another thing.  Traditional Publishers do like to see an established author who is getting consistent sales and interest in their work.  To be a first time author would be difficult to find a publisher who wants to take a risk on me and represent me.

Self-Publishing would also be a great option.  I could definitely see my name in print soon!!  I could have complete say in the illustrations, and everything would be approved through me.  I retain my rights to the stories, and royalties are a much higher percentage.  Amazon has a self-publishing program that is free to use and get a book printed, but then there is the problem of marketing the book and getting people to see it/buy it all over the world.  That scares me.  I am a quiet 'nobody'.  How would I get my books out there to enough people?
 There are self-publishing companies who will do marketing and distributing for you.  Awesome!  But, they cost quite a bit up front to get your book started (like, thousands).  AND, you still have to be approved.  They can decline doing your book, even if you are ready to pay them!  They look for original, inspiring ideas that they can already see potential.  Makes sense, but still...there is risk.

Maybe, what I'm trying to say, is both ideas terrify me.  To find a publisher to traditionally publish my books as a first time author is probably dreaming too big.  I believe in my books.  I like them.  Family and friends like them, but I don't know if that is enough.  And self-publishing is scary to market myself or to pay a lot of money to have a company help with the marketing part.

Last thing, I promise!  Either direction I go, it seems like it is better for me if I have my own illustrations.....so, who has an 'in' with an artist?  I have such a vision for my books, but I don't have the artistic skill set to pull it off.  I need someone who will work with me in creating the artwork for my words.  Anyone?  Anyone?

Thanks for coming on this journey with me, friends!!