The other night, in a dream, someone very close to me was pointing out every flaw and insecurity that I have about myself. All of my deep, inner, negative thoughts that I have were being brought up by this person who should have been uplifting and supporting me. Not the best feeling to have when waking up. I got out of bed feeling less than adequate.
As my day continued, some of the comments from my dream kept coming to my mind again. I had to figuratively shove them aside and replace the space with positive self-talk. Sometimes was easier to let the negative in...."I'm not very good at that. Why should I keep trying to do this? Will this make a difference? There is a lot of things I could be doing better? My time is not being used productively. Maybe I'll just try tomorrow. Or the next day." The change to positive talk took actual conscious effort.
It will take more practice, but I am trying to shift my thinking. I would rather tell myself, "Wow. Look at what you accomplished! You did a craft with your kids. You did the dishes. Your body is functioning. You are smart and capable of doing things and figuring stuff out."
I decided that I don't need to have other people cheer me on (although it is nice to be recognized and appreciated sometimes). I can be my own cheerleader!! Enough negativity. Let's change the dialogue in our heads. What could you accomplish if you didn't have that negativity and doubt gnawing at the back of your thoughts?
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